WorkChoices, Hawkey Style

Hay St, Perth

'Any boss who sacks a worker for not turning up today is a bum.' Who knows why this banner was hanging up over a major intersection right in the middle of Perth CBD, but it was, and that's good enough for me.

Sizzler, bitches.

Innaloo Cinemas, WA

Yeah, that's right, Sizzler. Cheese bread and all. Perth friends don't understand why this would be exciting, Melbourne friends do, and Melbourne residents who've been back to a Sizzler in Perth remember exactly why this shouldn't be exciting. On a side note, I spent the rest of the night Innaloo as well.

Dennis Lillee, Cricketer

St George's Terrace, Perth

Abbotsford St North Melbourne: Sign Nerd Heaven?

Yes. Here we have some nice painted billboards (ancient) for Astor radios and Penfolds wine, on old sign on the side of a sub station, and the sign above a baby health centre which is still used for the same purpose, albeit as a 'maternal and child health centre'.

Bank Commonwealth

Some Laneway (sorry) off Lt Bourke St, CBD

Post No Bills

Cohen Place, City

Please see that...

Waratah Place, City

Can't believe I actually found this, it's quite small and tucked away. I wouldn't like to guess how old it is, but it's pretty cool that a sign for something so mundane is so meticulously hand-painted - the artist has even painted in a drop shadow.

Keep South Melbourne Beautiful

Clarendon St, South Melbourne

There's nothing beautiful about this beast of a sign. As an aside though, this sign is near the front of the Old Papershop Deli in Clarendon St - home to good coffee and gigantic slices of cheesecake late on a Sunday night. A sort of ritual. 

Just when you think you've hit on something unique, some mongrel shows you up for the dork you are, and does the job better than you. (click)

Seriously, awesome site though. Check it out.

Wake Up!! We're at War

(Roadwork Ahead)

Corner Leveson & Queensberry Sts, North Melbourne (temporary - long since gone)

Creative use of some roadworks signage. Genius.

McWilliam's Cream Sherry

A'Beckett Street, City

Lovely old painted billboard, despite the addition of some aimless tagging. I suspect you wouldn't get away with using a shickered old monk to sell grog nowadays. 

Bois & Charbons

Abbotsford Convent, Collingwood

Who or what Bois and Charbons are/is, I've no idea. This shot was taken around the side of Abbotsford Convent on a recent trip to Collingwood Children's Farm, where I was attacked by a pregnant goat, but that's another story. Any idea what this would be advertising?

Update: Tom from the Farm Cafe says: "This paint work is from a film shoot a few years back. Many people wonder about it and why the nuns would have that painted on their building! Hope the goat attack didnt leave to much of a bruise." Cheers mate.

Ye Olde Coke Vending Machine

Centre Road, Bentleigh East

For some unknown reason, Laundromats are like little time capsules for old stuff that probably should have been replaced years ago. This Coke vending machine lives in a laundromat in East Bentleigh. It's in surprisingly good condition - alas no Tab or Mello Yello, and cans no longer cost 70 cents. Still, a nice flashback to my childhood, as this would have to be a good 20 or 25 years old.

Footscrayzy

Corner Orford Road and Waverley Street, Essendon

This sign is an institution if you've ever lived in Essendon or the surrounding area.

For years, dedicated locals have painted (or more recently stencilled) 'zy' onto the end of this sign. For years, dedicated council workers have cleaned it off again. For years, other dedicated locals have put it right back up again. The fact that the sign is a good couple of metres off the ground is a legacy of this ongoing battle.

So famous is this particular sign that it even has its own online presence: The Footscrayzy Sign Society on Facebook.

Playground

Grandview Street, Essendon

Nothing particularly remarkable about this old street sign. Until you get closer and realise the triangle at the top is handmade from four pieces of metal, and that the whole thing is hand painted.

Say Marchants Please!

Buckley Street, Essendon

Post Office Receiving Pillar

Buckley Street, Essendon

I love it that it's called a 'receiving pillar'. Now there's a few of these still kicking around the inner suburbs, but this one is worthy of attention for two reasons. First, it is in stunning condition, and has been beautifully restored. Second, this one is still in active use - note the standard Aussie Post labels on it.

For the trainspotters out there, this was made by W. Anderson and Sons, of Jeffcott St West Melbourne.

Crazy Cat

Elizabeth St, Melbourne

Photo courtesy of Kitten Wrangler

What this cat is doing here, how it got there, and what if anything it was advertising remains a mystery (until I can be bothered trying to find out). He just sits there, poking his gigantic head above the surrounding streetscape, possible trying to catch pigeons with his two dimensional tongue. Or not, whatevs.

Women
Random Public Toilet, Neerim Rd, Murrumbeena
Photo Courtesy of Kitten Wrangler
God love 'em. Before you give me funny looks for hanging around toilet blocks, note that I didn't take this pic. That said, both Kitten Wrangler and I are in love with the font choice.

Newman's Have Removed

Collins St (I think), Melbourne

Photo courtesy of Kitten Wrangler

'Have removed'. How quaint. Also, note how it's painted over another still older sign, all of which we can read is 'jewellers'.

Bulla Cream

Corner Arden and Leveson Streets, North Melbourne

Lovely font. I assume this building is now full of over-priced apartments.

Melbourne Folk Club

East Brunswick Club, Lygon Street East, Brunswick

Where's a good folk club when you need it nowadays?

Electrical Repairs

Munro Street, Brunswick

Masonic Catering Service

Maribyrnong Rd, Maribyrnong

An exclusive for the old masonic hall. That's right, just call 370 8696.

Ancient Bus Stop (Route 74A)

Corner Maribyrnong and Ascot Vale Roads, Ascot Vale

Any guesses as to how old this must be? I'm plumping for 40's, 50's at the latest.

Old Street Signage

Fern Avenue and Rae Court, Toorak

There's a few more of these scattered around in this neck of the woods, one can only assume they used to be everywhere. These are just two examples off Williams Rd Toorak that have escaped the clutches of the 21st century.

Not Kosher

7-11, Hawthorn Rd Caulfield South

You know you're in Caulfield when...

Fork Please

Willesden Rd, Hughesdale

Do Not Piss Here

Latrobe Street, Melbourne

This sign is a pisser.

Sorry.

Dulux

Jaydee Paint and Hardware, Racecourse Rd Flemington

The shop itself has come crazy-weird crap in it, but this old Dulux sign is gold.

Old Mechanic

Flemington Rd North Melbourne

This place, across the road from the Royal Women's Hospital, is plastered with old painted signage like that above. I bet the inside is an absolute goldmine - sparkplug ads from the 60's, a nude calendar for the year 1977, that sort of thing.

Commit (No) Nuisance

Heffernan Lane, Melbourne

Photo Courtesy of Chloe Wilson

A new piece, in the style of an old sign, telling people to commit no nuisance. Oh, okay then, I won't. I mean, there's a sign and everything.

This pic serves as a sequel to this one, my first post, and I think somes up this entire project nicely. Perversely this one is mean to be a piss-take on the former, the artist stencilling the refrain 'commit nuisance'. Someone has then come and added in the 'no' themselves. Is that in itself a nuisance, or was the original stencil, or both, or neither? I'm confused.

No Smoking

Melbourne Exhibition Centre (aka Jeff's Shed), Clarendon St Southbank.

This single beam hangs in the otherwise soulless, cavernous corridor running down the side of the Exhibition Centre. Apparently it's an old oregon floor beam that was ripped up during renovations in 1985, 11 years before the current building was opened by (vomit) Jeff Kennett.

What of course remains to be explained is why the old building had no smoking signs painted on the floor.

Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron

Beaconsfield Parade, Middle Park

This building looks like it's now an empty shell, so this sign might have seen its last days.

V Line Maintenance Depot (E Gate)

Footscray Road, West Melbourne

It's only a matter of time before this sign gets swallowed up by the rapidly exploding Docklands (this is near the site of the gigantic new ferris wheel) I bet there's a whole bunch of cool stuff in this depot to photograph, but it's the type of place you don't want to wander around uninvited with a camera.

You know this is old - check out the prehistoric phone number.

Court House Hotel

Corner Errol St and Queensberry St, North Melbourne

Not many pubs that still serve Carlton Light, and I'm yet to see if the Court House itself still does.

Commonwealth Savings Bank of Australia

Errol St, North Melbourne

Old metal plaque at the entrance of what is now the North Melbourne Post Office.

Parkville Tennis Club

Royal Parade, Parkville

Something cool about this one, despite the lettering looking slightly amateurish. The wall it's been stuck to is a little less cool. I'm surprised this has lasted nearly so long nestled in among such prime real estate.

Parkville Post Office

Fitzgibbon St, Parkville

These leadlight windows adorn the outside of the Parkville Post Office, a truly remarkable building. It was built in 1889, which must surely make it one of the oldest surviving post offices in suburban Melbourne. Kind of an elaborate way to advertise a service, but there you go. They don't advertise like they used to!

Don't Dump Babies!

Somewhere in San Francisco, apparently

Photo courtesy of Alan Forbes

I can't believe somebody thinks this sticker will stop people putting their babies in dumpsters. I can't believe baby dumping has become such an everyday activity that it warrant stickers on bins, regardless of how effective said stickers are. I can't believe, supposing just for a second that a) it would prevent the dumping of babies, and b) that, yes, it is now just that commonplace, that the design and messaging on the stickers would be so completely bloody crude.